1 00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:10,593 (light string music playing) 2 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,849 (person groaning) 3 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,935 Speaker: I used to think my legacy lay in the arts. 4 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:23,481 In music, to be precise. 5 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,985 My brother? Ugh, he was a prodigy on the violin. 6 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,779 Everything came easily to him. 7 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,616 Me? I had to work at things. 8 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,077 (gasps) Did you hear that? 9 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,328 Just the tiniest little bit of fourth finger vibrato. 10 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,415 What do you want from me? 11 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:44,711 "Blackbeard Breaks Ned Low's Record." 12 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,465 (whispers) I'm Ned. 13 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,967 I told you... 14 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,136 I haven't seen Blackbeard's ship. 15 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,347 (screams) 16 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,602 I never did become a renowned violinist. 17 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:06,816 My record... that was my legacy. 18 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:12,614 Eighty-eight consecutive raids at sea. 19 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:14,491 (whispers) And he took that from me. 20 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,159 He took it. 21 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,830 I don't know where Blackbeard is. 22 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:25,960 No, no, no, no, no. I-I've been tracking him for ages. 23 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,338 I know exactly where he is. 24 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:32,133 -Why are you doing this? -(whispers) Because, my love... 25 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,010 I'm still a musician at heart. 26 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,555 -(sizzling) -(lighthouse keeper wails) 27 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,934 God, that was a beautiful pitch. 28 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,101 That was really nice. 29 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,064 (screaming) 30 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,027 -(normal) Let's loosen up. -(lighthouse keeper wailing) 31 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:53,696 -A bit more from the diaphragm. -(sizzling) 32 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,156 -Less from the throat. -(deeper wailing) 33 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,077 (gasps) You have a lovely, natural instrument. 34 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,038 (birds cawing) 35 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,125 (pensive music playing) 36 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,173 (thundering) 37 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,433 Oh, look, it's scowl-y face. 38 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:26,020 Oh, look... you're talkin' to me again. 39 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,731 Yeah. 40 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,317 Sorry, I'm a bit drunk, I thought you were Roach. 41 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,446 Jesus. You're really puttin' that away, aren't you? 42 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,241 Yes, I am. 43 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,909 Somethin's wrong. 44 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,704 Feels like a storm is coming, but I can't see it. 45 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,249 Or maybe you're just a mopey twat 46 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,126 and there isn't a fuckin' storm. 47 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,302 (sighs) 48 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,639 Sorry about your leg. 49 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,641 ♪♪ 50 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,310 Fuck off. 51 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,062 Ta-da! 52 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:12,483 I put all of your remaining treasure in one room. 53 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,526 It was all over the place, 54 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,111 and I was tripping over it. 55 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,030 And some of it's quite ugly. 56 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,783 Excellent. A reminder of all my guilt. 57 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,744 A guilt room. 58 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,915 Well, maybe you could do something good with it. 59 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,920 I'm inside a snake, man! I'm inside of a fuckin' snake. 60 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,296 And I'm like, I feel like a snake, move like a snake, 61 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:36,799 ya know, and I get a knife and I just stab the fucker. 62 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,302 And then I... (growls) And then I, like, crawl out, and then they're like, 63 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,889 "Surprise!" (laughing) 'Cause it was my birthday. 64 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:47,101 And then we just spit-roasted that snake, it was delicious. 65 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,396 (chuckles) So, um, (clears throat) what do you guys do 66 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:50,813 for parties around here? 67 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,899 -Uh... -Oh! 68 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,318 Oh, yeah. We, we rage. 69 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,403 -(laughs) I thought you might. -Oluwande: Yeah. 70 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,572 -Roach: Yeah, we rage! -Fuckin' rage. 71 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,949 -D-Do you? -Yeah. 72 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:01,658 Oluwande: Heavy on the rage. (chuckles) 73 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,160 Hm, do we? 74 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,705 I haven't crawled out of a snake in years. 75 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,708 Yeah, guys. It's been kinda slow around here. 76 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,544 I mean, last night, we just reorganized furniture. 77 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,713 Yeah, well, improvement in the flow is undeniable. 78 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,465 -Have you seen this place? -(crewmembers agreeing) 79 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,009 Yeah, but I'll be honest. We are a bit boring now, aren't we? 80 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,845 -Ugh. -Yeah, yeah, that's right. 81 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,014 Well, it's a happy coincidence then 82 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,849 that today is Calypso's birthday. 83 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,852 -(gasps) -Oh, yeah! 84 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:33,022 -Yeah! Shit, that's today? -Yeah, it certainly is. 85 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,315 The most holy day in the Calypsian calendar. 86 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,568 And seeing as many of us here are Calypsish-- 87 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,611 Oh, yeah, I'm Calypsish. 88 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,238 You're Calypsish, you're Calypsish. 89 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,531 Archie: Wait, wait, wait. 90 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,533 Is Calypso's birthday something that you guys 91 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:48,371 just made up, just invented so that we can have a party? 92 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,042 -(Oluwande chuckles) -Correctamundo. 93 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,252 (all cheering) 94 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,463 -Yeah, it is! -Ay, Calypso birthday! 95 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,215 You can buy new clothes. Or how's this? 96 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:04,637 Give a lot of it away to those less fortunate. 97 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,264 -(footsteps approach) -Yeah. 98 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,557 Hey, uh, Captains, 99 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,768 um, your crew were just wondering if we're doin' anything 100 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,187 -for Calypso's birthday. -Calypso's birthday? 101 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,064 Correct. It's a day of observance. 102 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,065 By far, the holiest of days in our culture. 103 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,152 Traditionally celebrated by a big bash. 104 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,988 Well, we-- Definitely. We should, um-- 105 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,407 Yes. We'll-- I'll, I'll get onto that. 106 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,617 Have fun. 107 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,036 (whispers) We should do that. 108 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:32,415 Yeah, uh, so they're just tryin' to Calypso you. 109 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:37,420 Um, it's totally just a huge made-up excuse for a big party. 110 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,172 Oh. 111 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,214 Well, you know what? 112 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:40,923 You could use this loot 113 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,676 to pay for a big bash. 114 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,137 Turn poison into positivity! 115 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,100 Poison into positivity. 116 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,896 Prince Ricky Banes: The evils of piracy have plagued our nations 117 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:59,067 and our communities for long enough. 118 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,944 Indeed, I was minding my own business 119 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,739 and I was beset by brigands. 120 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,617 You?! You robbed me? 121 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:14,123 And those 20-something brigands... took my nose. 122 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,041 -(Prince Ricky screams) -(slices) 123 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:20,088 So, it's up to us fine gentlemen 124 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:25,343 to stand up against this modern piracy 125 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:26,677 and stay vigilant. 126 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,514 (applause) 127 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,432 (indistinct chatter) 128 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,270 Remarkable speech, Prince. 129 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,523 This was delivered by messenger this morning. 130 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,782 Oh. 131 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,284 (lute music plays) 132 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,662 Stede Bonnet: Alright. Party supplies on Ed. 133 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:56,124 -Jim: We're gonna need flowers and lanterns. -(excited chatter) 134 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,375 Fang: Ooh, we're gonna need a goat. 135 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,669 And some rum. A rum-drinking goat! 136 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:00,837 So, what do we think Calypso drinks? 137 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,422 Bearing in mind Blackbeard is payin', so let's-- 138 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:07,552 Oh, whoa, whoa. Then I reckon she drinks a fine brandy. 139 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,387 -One worthy of a goddess. -Yeah. 140 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,221 -Yeah. -Yeah. 141 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:10,680 We've only got rum. 142 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,807 One type. 143 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:14,392 Cheap. 144 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,812 -Well, we'll take that, then. Yeah. -Yep, yep. 145 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,023 Blackbeard: Hey, urchins, I'm gonna change your lives. 146 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,359 Here's 50,000 doubloons. 147 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,112 You know how long it was till I had that kinda money? 148 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,825 A fuckin' long time. 149 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,828 And here is a knife. 150 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:36,998 You stab anyone who comes near that money, okay? 151 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,374 I want a knife. 152 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,417 Yeah, you can have a knife, too. 153 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,713 Pro tip here: When you're killing someone, 154 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,007 okay, don't bother stabbing, alright? 155 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,216 Chances are they'll survive. 156 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,384 You wanna slash 157 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,178 big, deep slashes side to side 158 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,721 so the guts all fall out. 159 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:52,889 Hey. 160 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,808 Did I see you offer 161 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,728 both these children knives... 162 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,396 and a big bag of money? 163 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,940 Yeah. Yeah, well, I just 164 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,358 thought I'd give these filthy, little gutter rats, 165 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,653 uh, the head start that I never had. 166 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,071 -Poison into positivity. -Ahh. 167 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,072 Are you a pirate? 168 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,408 -No, we're not pirates. -No. 169 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,410 And you won't be pirates either. 170 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:16,454 Okay? We own an inn. 171 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,955 Yes, of course. How can I forget? 172 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,166 Blackbeard: Don't pirate, kids. Alright? 173 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,167 Stede: Agree. Don't be pirates. Don't be pirates. 174 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:25,588 (tense music playing) 175 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,883 I see you've received our invitation. 176 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,720 Hm. That's a very interesting way to describe blackmail. 177 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:36,724 Do we like the term "blackmail"? 178 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,309 (chuckles) It's so unpleasant. 179 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,143 Can we just say that I... 180 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,647 (deep inhale) I see you... 181 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,774 clearly. 182 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,109 Ah... Ah. 183 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,778 Left a bit of yourself behind 184 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,073 -at Spanish Jackie's, eh? -Auntie, please. 185 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:53,616 He's been through enough. 186 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,201 He's disfigured himself as a result 187 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,953 of a business deal gone wrong. 188 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,871 No, no, we don't need to pile on. 189 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:05,628 I would be very careful who you trifle with, Zheng Yi Sao. 190 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,505 'Cause I'm a minor prince. 191 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,633 -And that's why we're blackmailing you. -Ah. 192 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,969 Again, I don't like that term. (chuckles) 193 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:17,223 "Minor prince." "Pirate queen who bent China to her will." 194 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,349 These are, these are just labels. 195 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:21,852 I don't wanna talk about who you are. 196 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,481 (laughs) I wanna talk about... who you could be. 197 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:29,026 -(Zheng pouring tea) -Prince Ricky: Hm. 198 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,654 ("Wasting My Time" by Harry Mosco playing) 199 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,156 Roach: Here we go, guys. The snacks are ready. 200 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,659 (muffled music playing) 201 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,498 -What's all this, then? -I'm working on my look. 202 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,293 Look? 203 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,461 The fuck's a look? 204 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:51,591 Well, tonight I'm going as the Sea Goddess Calypso. 205 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:56,637 I'm thinking dramatic eyes, dramatic lips. 206 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,015 Drama on the cheeks. 207 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,684 ♪♪ 208 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,645 (crew cheering, laughing) 209 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:10,818 Now, it's imperative you do not sip until Calypso herself decrees. 210 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:14,822 -Roach: Ah! Come on! -May the goddess have mercy on this thirsty little guy. 211 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,575 -(laughter) -Pirate: Woo! 212 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,660 (laughs) What is this? 213 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,913 Archie: Ah! Welcome, ye party animules! 214 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,373 -Oh, thank you. -For you! 215 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,583 Hang on, that's my tub! 216 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,543 Is it? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm new here. 217 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:31,505 The moving of the tub, it's a sacred tradition! 218 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,051 -Yeah, this guy's devout as fuck! -Just go with it. 219 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,636 Fine. As long as it's returned without a dent. 220 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,888 -Jim: Gah! -(Stede yelps) 221 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,389 Do you feel that? 222 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,017 -(Jim speaks Spanish) -(Archie exclaiming) 223 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,560 Roach: Oh! She must be near! 224 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,897 -(indistinct yelling) -(laughter) 225 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,982 Wee John Feeney: Greetings, mortals. 226 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,943 -All: Ooh! -Whoa! Is that Wee John? 227 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,070 'Tis I, Calypso. 228 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,823 (crewmembers vocalizing) 229 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,451 Raise your motherfucking glasses 230 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:03,245 or feel my absolute wrath. 231 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,414 (all cheering) 232 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,209 -(Wee John laughing) -(indistinct yelling) 233 00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,087 (sings) ♪ La, la ♪ 234 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,255 Yeah, just play that. Just follow my beat. 235 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,759 (Frenchie playing "La Vie En Rose" on lute) 236 00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:23,224 (sings) ♪ Hold me close and hold me fast ♪ 237 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,434 ♪ The magic spell you cast ♪ 238 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:31,148 ♪ This is la vie en rose ♪ 239 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:35,319 ♪ When you kiss me, heaven sighs ♪ 240 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,906 -♪ And though I close my eyes ♪ -(Wee John sighs) 241 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,992 ♪ I see la vie en rose ♪ 242 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:46,455 -♪ When you press me to your heart... ♪ -What's happening right now? 243 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,041 -I think you did it. -Did what? 244 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:53,504 Turned the poison into positivity. 245 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,133 ♪ And when you speak ♪ 246 00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,344 -♪ Angels sing from above ♪ -Come on. 247 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:07,518 ♪ Everyday words seem to turn into love ♪ 248 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:08,602 -(loud bang) -(all scream) 249 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,397 Stede: Oh, God! We're under attack! 250 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,524 -(indistinct yelling) -(cannon fire) 251 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:16,444 -(screaming) -Get down! 252 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,029 Roach: What's happening?! Is it fireworks?! 253 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:23,409 Good evening, doomed crew of "The Revenge." 254 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,245 (sighs) Ned Low. Fuckin' perfect. 255 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,915 Oh, I'm going to torture you all, by the way. 256 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,002 (tense music playing) 257 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,504 Ned Low: Ya know, uh, we've never met. 258 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,673 But there's a reason for that. 259 00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,843 Because I only hang out with cool pirates. 260 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:45,598 No. The reason is that I have always thought 261 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:46,765 you were a very... 262 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,686 generic pirate. 263 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,147 Ya know? Beard? Check. 264 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,315 -Hair? Check. -Fuck off. 265 00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:59,195 Tattoos? Check. Ya know, just sort of a typical, common, 266 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:03,616 dirty... bag of pirate. 267 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,868 I didn't even want your fuckin' record. 268 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:06,869 I only broke it 'cause I was bored. 269 00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:10,456 Mm-hmm. Hm. 270 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:15,503 Ya know, music came very easily to my younger brother. 271 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,795 Let me guess, you killed him? 272 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,507 Strung up your little fiddle bow with his guts 273 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,300 or something super melodramatic like that. 274 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:26,514 -Ooh, shit. Struck a chord. I think you got it in one. -Oh. (laughs) Yeah. 275 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,890 It's usually something like that. 276 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,433 It's often family-based stuff. 277 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,559 I will (yells) not 278 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:35,064 be undone by another idiot savant! 279 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,774 -(screaming) -Fuck you! 280 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:41,111 (groans, sighs) You torture like a bitch. 281 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,363 -Oh, yeah? -That's good. 282 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:43,739 But maybe don't encourage him. 283 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,908 Hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 284 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,868 -It's me you want. It's me you want! -Oh, oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! 285 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,245 -Don't! I'm gonna fuckin'... -(screaming) 286 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,663 ...kill you, you fucker! 287 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,540 Pirate: This is really gonna hurt. 288 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,625 -(screaming) -Just so you know. 289 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,586 Relax. Oh, I'm tender-headed, ya know? 290 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,712 (groans) Alright! Okay! (yells) 291 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:03,217 (laughs) I don't think the torture has begun. 292 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,718 Wait, so it gets worse than this? 293 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,388 Yeah, it gets way worse. 294 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:10,099 So, what's the plan, you weird fuck? 295 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,518 Um, yeah, I'm probably gonna cut your skin off 296 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,103 in strips or some bullshit like that. 297 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,437 You don't sound very excited about it. 298 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:20,317 Hm. Uh, what are we, uh, 299 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,944 what are we celebrating here, guys? 300 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,196 -It's Calypso's birthday. -(chuckles) Calypso. 301 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,615 -Uh, I'm Calypso. -Oh, God. 302 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,242 Guys, they (chuckles) Calypso'd them. 303 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,245 -(all laughing) -Ned would shit his pants if we did that. (laughs) 304 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,664 Yeah, Captain likes a bit of whimsy now and then. 305 00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:36,375 Well, I guess our captains have very different ideas about whimsy. 306 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,127 Uh, may-maybe we should talk about it. 307 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,505 -No. Same shit, different day. -(groans) Okay. Okay. Okay. 308 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,464 -I'll shut up. I'll shut up. -Ya know, whatever this is, 309 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,175 it's just gonna turn me on. 310 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,218 -Oh, really? -Uh-huh. 311 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,137 Go fuck yourself. 312 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:52,224 Wow. We were in there for a, a whole day. 313 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:56,103 (sighs) I guess this is just engaged life. 314 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:58,647 Here's to... 24 hours of... 315 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:03,027 freaky... uninterrupted love. 316 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,403 Mm. 317 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,283 Yeah, why weren't we interrupted? Where is everyone? 318 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,327 (crew screaming) 319 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:16,707 -That doesn't sound-- -Are we... under attack? 320 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,002 (groaning) 321 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,841 Comfy? 322 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:31,472 Tighter, please. I think you've almost fixed my lower back. 323 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,643 -(Blackbeard screams) -Ned: Mmm. 324 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,271 Alright, you idiots. It's almost showtime. 325 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,689 Everyone settled in? 326 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,358 Prepared to give their finest performance? 327 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,194 (crewmembers groaning) 328 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,320 Can you hurry up? 329 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,740 Do you want it done fast or do you want it done well? 330 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,075 Both! 331 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,701 (mutters) Yeah, right. Both. 332 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,787 Torturing us won't get your record back. 333 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,205 I know that. I'm just doing it for the lolz. 334 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,874 (groans) 335 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:01,877 Now, you are about to witness... 336 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:06,465 a little something I call... "The Symphony." 337 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,095 Let's all tune up! Tuning up! 338 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:13,639 (all screaming at different pitches) 339 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,229 Black Pete (whispers): Okay, so, let's see here. 340 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,147 Weapons. Weapons. Weapons. 341 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,484 Babe, here's everything I could find that's sharp or pointy. 342 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:30,572 Oh, my God, that's actually, like, making me nauseous. 343 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,535 -We really have to, like, do something. -Yeah, yeah. No, no. 344 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,787 Maybe we just, like, tell their stories. 345 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,914 And in some ways, isn't that the best revenge? 346 00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:41,959 But we're not really at the revenge step. 347 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:45,963 We're sort of in the, like... pre-revenge window. 348 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,717 But there's a bunch of them and two of us. 349 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,719 (crewmembers screaming) 350 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,972 Right, so, so, so, like, a plan. 351 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,473 Yeah, we definitely need a plan. 352 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,516 And we probably need more knives. 353 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,475 We definitely need more knives. 354 00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,268 Okay, I'll go get some. 355 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,019 Okay. Like, a bunch more knives. 356 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,148 (groaning, screaming) 357 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:10,404 -Ah! Jesus! Ah! -No! You're late! 358 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,781 -Pirate: I wasn't late. -It really hurts! 359 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,491 Oh, thank you. 360 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,285 It's nice to get a little positive reinforcement now and again. 361 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,247 Don't talk to my employee. 362 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:23,417 -Oh, God. -Oh, that's the problem. 363 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,377 You see her as your employee 364 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,464 rather than the person she actually is. 365 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,923 Okay... kill him. 366 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:33,177 -(pirate groans) -Alrighty, dumbasses. 367 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,971 -Let's take it from the top! -(screaming) 368 00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,014 -Enough trifling! -Oh! 369 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:41,560 Release my crew or Hellkat-- Is it Hellkat? 370 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,312 Uh, it's actually H-Hellkat Maggie. 371 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,147 -Oh, that's a beautiful name. -Oh, thank you. 372 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,149 Hellkat Maggie gets it. 373 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,817 (scoffs) Go ahead and kill her. 374 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,153 She can't even tie a rope correctly. 375 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,155 Maybe I'm demoralized by your constant fucking criticism. 376 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,115 Pirate: Me too. I've had enough of the shiny fuck. 377 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:58,076 I don't like the way it makes me feel working for you. 378 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,788 -Yeah, this job sucks. -(Ned's crew agreeing) 379 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,414 You're mercenaries. You don't have feelings. 380 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,124 How about you stop telling me who I am? 381 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,502 -Yeah, and she has a name. -Yeah. 382 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,587 -A beautiful one. -(door slams open) 383 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,298 Black Pete (yelling): Fuck yeah! You wanna get crazy? 384 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,300 Let's get fuckin' crazy! 385 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,511 Guys, Stede's already got this! 386 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,679 -Oluwande: Yeah. Where you been? -We got engaged. 387 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,933 -All: Aww. -Oh, I love that. 388 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,352 Anywho, where were we? Oh, that's right. 389 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,854 Your lot was turning, weren't you? 390 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,815 -Hellkat Maggie: Mm-hmm. -Stede: Good. 391 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,650 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Come on. Come on. 392 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:32,778 Please. Let's have a little professionalism. 393 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,947 Oh, now he's saying please. (laughs) 394 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,991 Who's comin' in late now, Neddy? 395 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,535 ♪♪ 396 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:44,206 Oh, in summary, you have built a pirate navy, 397 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:48,043 and you want the Crown to pay them not to pirate. 398 00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:50,379 Correct. Pay them a living wage. 399 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,588 Then they will stop stealing your shit. 400 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:55,676 Do you know where a fifth of your nation's treasure winds up? 401 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,220 -On the sea floor. -On the floor of the sea. 402 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,514 Get out. No way, the sea floor? 403 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,683 But you-you are gonna end all that. 404 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:06,144 You could end all that. 405 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,064 Oh, because of Papa's access to the Treasury? 406 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:12,693 Zheng Yi Sao: Yes, but more importantly, 407 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:15,737 because you're Prince Richard Banes, 408 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,907 respected pirate abolitionist. 409 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,327 And you could be the man to end all piracy 410 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,205 without firing a single shot. 411 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,457 -(strikes match) -Shot. 412 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,543 Thanks for the treasure, Bonnet! 413 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,919 You're a good dude. 414 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,921 Awfully sorry to hear about your mum, Vincent. 415 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,464 Hope she's feeling better soon. 416 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,800 Thanks, Bonnet. You're the fuckin' man, bro. 417 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,761 Alright. Full sail, dawgs! 418 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,930 Oh, and I mean that supportively and affectionately. 419 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,892 Ned: You are all a disgrace! 420 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:49,980 I'll find you! I'll hunt you down! 421 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,608 Hellkat Maggie: Alright, gang! Let's talk profit sharing. 422 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,611 -(Ned's crew cheers) -Pirate: Woo-hoo-hoo! Maggie! 423 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,612 (Ned sighs) 424 00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,949 So... Bland Beard. 425 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,451 How ya gonna do it? 426 00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,913 I'm not. I don't respect you enough to kill you. 427 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,248 You're not worth the poison. 428 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,958 What happened to you? What happened? 429 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,461 You used to be a killer, 430 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,797 but now you're just a washed-up, low-born... 431 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,759 -dirtbag. -(gasps) 432 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,138 -Walk! -Oh. Oh, oh, now this is how ya do it. 433 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,473 This is what it's all about right here. 434 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,558 Go. 435 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,896 ♪♪ 436 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,316 Get up. 437 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:39,196 -(plank creaks) -Ned: On the plank? 438 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:39,655 Yeah. 439 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,990 Oh, that is kinky. 440 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,993 You're gonna toss me into the sea? 441 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,995 ♪♪ 442 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,831 Works for spiders. Works for men. 443 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:55,504 Ya know, um, once you kill me, 444 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,172 you are a real pirate. 445 00:20:57,255 --> 00:21:02,386 You're, you're not an amateur anymore. 446 00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,347 Don't do it, Stede. 447 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,725 Killing in cold blood, you can't come back from that. 448 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:14,481 See? That's why he likes you. 449 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,819 It's because of your bumbling amateur status. 450 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:21,613 You're like a pet, I think. 451 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,323 You hurt my crew. 452 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:27,285 You shit-talked my friend and damaged my ship. 453 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,707 But worst of all, you fucked Calypso's birthday! 454 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,209 (crew exclaims) 455 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:36,253 -(all agreeing) -Fuck off. 456 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:42,384 Alright, well, what would you like me to do? Jump? 457 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,886 No, don't forget your fiddle. 458 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,222 -(Ned screams) -(loud splash) 459 00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:49,850 (crew exclaiming) 460 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:53,270 (solemn music playing) 461 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,396 (cheering) 462 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,907 I'll be in my quarters. 463 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,200 Izzy Hands: Give him a minute. 464 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,411 First kill's always a mind-fuck. 465 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,790 I'm gonna check on him. 466 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,879 (knocks on door) 467 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,301 Hey. You okay? 468 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:28,221 (sighs) Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well. 469 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,265 I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that-- 470 00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:33,935 (Izzy singing "La Vie En Rose" in French) 471 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,439 (Frenchie plays lute) 472 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:43,487 ♪ I see life in pink ♪ 473 00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:47,741 ♪ He tells me words of love ♪ 474 00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,702 ♪ Words everyday ♪ 475 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:55,540 ♪ And that makes me something ♪ 476 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:59,878 ♪ He entered in my heart ♪ 477 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,839 ♪ A part of happiness ♪ 478 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:06,468 ♪ Of which I know the cause ♪ 479 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:13,433 ♪ It's him for me, me for him in life ♪ 480 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:18,980 ♪ He told me, swore it, for life ♪ 481 00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,983 -(Izzy holds note) -(all cheering) 482 00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:29,366 -(fireworks exploding) -(Roach laughs, cheers) 483 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:38,333 ♪ My beating heart ♪ 484 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,174 ♪♪ 485 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,885 (fireworks exploding) 486 00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:56,351 ♪ It's him for me, me for him in life ♪ 487 00:23:56,434 --> 00:24:03,984 ♪ He told me, swore it, for life ♪ 488 00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:07,195 ♪ And as soon as I see it ♪ 489 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:11,199 ♪ So I feel within me ♪ 490 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:16,079 ♪ My beating heart ♪ 491 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:19,541 (crew singing along) 492 00:24:19,624 --> 00:24:23,003 All: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ 493 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:29,092 ♪ Da, da, daaa, da ♪ 494 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:32,262 (cheering, applause) 495 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:38,768 All (chanting): One more song! One more song! 496 00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:42,355 Izzy: I've got one more song! 497 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:44,399 (cheering) 498 00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:47,068 (fireworks exploding) 499 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:58,205 -(goat bleats) -My apologies, guys, but I couldn't let 'em 500 00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:00,081 harm this little fella. 501 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,083 So, we just went and hide off the side 502 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,669 for a couple of hours, here. 503 00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:06,379 And now I've got really sore fingies 504 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,965 from hangin' there holding you! Yes, you! 505 00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:10,258 Archie: Mate, you got sore fingies? 506 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:11,301 I've got sore footsies and got tortured! 507 00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:13,637 -And we survived! -Oluwande: Yeah. 508 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,890 -Let's fuckin' party! -(cheering) 509 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:20,101 -I'll go get the fireworks! -Archie: Yeah! 510 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:20,644 Ah!